My Journey to a Book Contract - Part 7 Internal Dialogue Editor's Notes

by Elva Cobb Martin

Today I am sharing some internal dialogue notes from an editor of my romantic suspense novel, Summer of Deception, which was released in May, 2017.

What do you think the characters in the pictures below might be thinking?

Secret:  Ethan Becket, my hero for my next novel. He's begging me to tell his story.

Internal Dialogue and Italics – Notes from Susan Baganz, Editor, 

   Internal dialog is the way someone talks to themselves in their minds, it’s not just mere thoughts)

1) Just plain thoughts are not italicized.  

     

     Was this a manipulation?  

     Good gravy. Was this the way the Marines landed?  

    

2)When the character is actually talking to himself, that should be italicized. 

   

      It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.

      Get out of my way, please.

      Not expecting her?

      A pleasing fragrance emanated from her. Musk or lavender?

3) Silent prayers are italicized.

     God help me.

     Lord, thank You for this wonderful summer position, but I’m going to need Your help big time to sit at table with this man every day.

4)  Third person past tense versus first person present tense in thoughts. (This was an eye opener for me)

         

     Incorrect: Wipe the silly smirk off your face. (Simple thought of character I had in italics)

    Corrected: She longed to wipe the silly smirk off his face.

    

     Incorrect: Yes, what is preventing me?

     Corrected: Yes, what was preventing her?

      Incorrect: So you don't care a thing about Morgan, Mr. Barrett? And you think marijuana shouldn't be legalized, but you've stashed a fortune in cocaine in your attic.

     Corrected:  So he didn't care a thing about Morgan. And he thought marijuana shouldn't be legalized but he stashed a fortune of cocaine in his attic. 

                                                       ***

Thanks for stopping by. Please share any tips you have about internal dialog, and do share this blog on your social media if it proved helpful.

Be blessed today,
Elva

Elva Cobb Martin is vice-president of the South Carolina Chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers. She is a former school teacher and a graduate of Anderson University and Erskine College. She has two inspirational novels contracted with Lighthouse Publishers of the Carolinas. Summer of Deception, a contemporary romantic suspense, and an historical romance, In a Pirate’s Debt. Both have spent time on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers List for Women’s Religious Fiction. Decision, Charisma, and Home Life have carried Elva's articles. Jim Hart of Hartline Literary represents her. She and her husband Dwayne are semi-retired ministers. A mother and grandmother, Elva lives in Anderson, South Carolina. Connect with her on her web site http://www.elvamartin.com,on  her blog
http://www.carolinaromancewithelvamartin.blogspot.com
Twitter www.twitter.com/ElvaCobbMartin; Facebook http://www.facebook.com/elvacobbmartin;  and Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/elvacobbmartin

Link to her romance novels and non-fiction works on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2pOgVHI